Don't Get Too Close, It's Dark Inside

It's where my demon hide.
- Demons, Imagine Dragons

Definition (and lack of) Happiness

Hello,

I just want to say that I'm sorry. For all the trouble and misery I've put you into. Never in my mind that I meant it at all. You know, sometimes a mother need to scold her child so they know what they did is wrong. Life is hard, but we'll go through this.

We'll reach heaven (hopefully) eventually.

Sincerely,

Yours Pathetic.

TEARS

I couldn't stop crying. No matter how hard I try. This is just too painful. Life is too painful. I have to make decision but there are no decision to be made. I have to stand up but there are nothing to stand up for. I have to fall in love, but no one seems to worth my love, yet. Anyway, if I do fall in love, it still means nothing if no one fall in love to me too. Even though someone did fall in love with me, still suck if he doesn't deserve it. It's too tiring. And I can't stop crying.

Apa yang Ku Rindukan?

Aku rindu tersenyum
Seperti sudah seabad tidak
Rindu sekali menjadi hangat
Tertawa pada candaan sekecil apapun

Sekarang aku hanya bisa menangis
Berteriak dalam diam
Lalu tidur sambil berharap sakitnya kan hilang
Apa gunanya jika aku bangun hanya merasakan lebih sakit

Aku ingin pulang
Tapi aku sudah di rumah
Aku masih mau hidup sungguh
Walau hati ini sangat lelah

Aku ingin dipeluk tapi kau jauh
Ingin mendekat tapi aku tak mampu
Hanya bisa berdoa, tapi hati ini tetap sakit
Jadi, aku menangis lagi dalam diam

Apakah aku sendiri? Tidak
Tapi begitulah rasanya
Ingin sekali berteriak
"Kau tidak pernah tahu seperti apa rasanya menjadi diriku"

Lelah
Mau tidur
Tapi aku takut mimpi buruk
Lalu sakit yang datang setelahnya

Ingin tetap terbangun
Tapi sakit
Ingin kabur dalam tidur
Tapi takut

Entah harus apa
Mungkin aku kurang shalat malam

Aku rindu
Tanpa tahu harus bagaimana

Under the Star Capacity

I remember once when I told you
"I'll do anything for you"
"Cross the sea, through the storms, over the dessert"
But really, who am I to say that?
For when it's raining now and I'm here
Standing under the umbrella to keep me dry
I missed you so much that I'll do everything to meet you
I'll walk thousands miles
Through time and spaces
Over the infinite possibility
But really, I'm just sitting here
Watching to your window
Wishing you'll peek through with your sweet smiles
And moreover
Under the umbrella
It's only a rain darling
And...
I missed you

The Lost Symphony

As night turns down
And the nightingale begins to hums
The dear sunlight, took the gown
And dance slowly as the sky bumps

Can you hear the moonlight soothing?
A sonata once was played
But the eyes seek nothing
No longer as the debt paid

Incomplete songs and innocent souls
Bothered by the birds wings flap
Rain started to drips on my morning bowls
Though the morning no longer wake up

Dear sunlight the songs is incomplete
The night has flown and i no longer seek your eyes
A praying that were told every bit
Now is just stars amidst the skies

Pieces of my orchestra that's no longer here
As it runs through maze -- now it lost
One day, through the maze, i wish i could find my way there
To the place that you will miss the most, my lost symphony

[UPDATES] on 30 days challenge and some "poetic" (hopefully?) rant

I don't know if anyone even read my blog...
I guess there are none...
Well, I'll just consider this talking to myself then *yeah*

About 30 days challenge... i guess I'll have to push it way back. Hopefully *pretty please* it'll happen around November, around with the second round with NaNoWriMo. Because of "things" that happened on my real life, I've been trying to stay away from internet life as much as i could. But, I guess I need to comeback here pretty soon, hopefully all mind-set, not only for fun, but for "mature" stuff. Hopefully. Considering that I want to be a writer very much, I need to train myself hard. And also hopefully, I can find myself a community in which my writing can be read by other and be appreciated.

Next!

Read more »